Friday, 24 December 2010

Merry Crimble Eve!

Mmm... Throttled internet connection. Oh how I hate you, Kingston Communications. Just to vex you, I've decided to get revenge on your throttling my connection all week by downloading more than your servers should be able to handle. You utter gits. Ah, 5 kb/s... It takes me back to the first days of the internet. Only more primitive.

To the rest of you, merry Christmas Eve! I'm sure you've had Christmas rammed down your throat enough in the past week. I know I have. We've now reached what seems to be an annual holiday for the internet, in that I mean that nearly every site that updates regularly, such as Rock, Paper, Shotgun, aren't going to update until after Christmas. The 3rd of January, in RPS' case. Furthermore, most YouTube channels have stopped updating until after boxing day. That would probably include me, if not for the preposterous amount of time YouTube wants to take uploading my videos. Thanks again, crappy connection. I loathe thee, I really do. Grumbling about my ISP aside, you're probably wondering if I'm going to be posting tomorrow? The answer, while purely academic considering most people take Christmas as an excuse not to hit the internet, is yes. I shall indeed be posting tomorrow. Perhaps several times, depending on how drunk I get during the course of the day. And the course of the night. And probably the morning after. As you should be well aware of by now, dear reader, I am not most people. Therefore, if I want to spend the entire day on the internet after Christmas dinner, I shall. To be perfectly honest, it's not like there's a whole lot else one can do after opening prezzies and gorging oneself on turkey. Frankly, if I try to watch the TV on Christmas Day again, I might just explode.

Obligatory Christmas message out of the way, how are you all? I do hope you're well, dear reader. I especially hope you've managed to stave off the horrendous flu outbreaks that seem to be striking the world at the moment. It's like man-flu, but mutated into person-flu, which seems to affect women as well. Everyone in the house is infected apart from me. Very fortunate. It'll probably hit me twice as hard on Boxing Day and couple itself with the raging hangover I'll probably have. If I don't post on Boxing Day, it's safe to assume it's killed me. You could also assume that I'm either too lethargic or ill to drag myself to the keyboard. Take your pick.

Well, I've not been doing too much myself. I've had the minimal of wrapping to do, mainly because I palmed it off onto other people. It's good for the people receiving though, otherwise they'd have to endure my horrific wrapping skills. Men were not made for wrapping. Therefore, I find it very awkward and frustrating. To the point of utter blind rage, in fact. I also completely forgot to get my mother a card this year. My first response was to panic, considering I realised this about 5 hours ago. Then a marvelous thought hit me: why get her a card at all? It's the message that's important, right? And she'll just throw it away at the end of the year... So I printed out one of my Christmassy photos, wrote a message on the back, and put into a A4 business envelope. It seemed like a good idea at the time. She's always nagging me to give her some prints to put up on display anyway, so it's like a present wrapped in a card. Or vice versa. Or something. So what else have I been doing? Not much, frankly. I got up at 1pm today, considering it my just reward for the exhausting year. I'm sure we all feel the same way, dear reader. I've mainly spent this week getting the dust off my graphics tablet, and getting to grips with Art Rage 2, which hasn't gone very well, if I'm honest. The end of the year's always the same: I lose all patience with things. Therefore, the most complex thing I can paint at the moment is a blue smiley face. With a comedy mustache. I'll call him Fred. I'd upload a picture of Fred, but not long after doing yesterday's DC, I was filled with the urge to draw a huge penis coming out of his head. And it's difficult to resist. So much so, in fact, that I daren't see him again, lest the urge consume me utterly. As I say, my patience isn't very healthy at this time of year. I can do digital painting in Photoshop, but I can't yet do it in a program singularly designed for it. I don't think my mind works very well sometimes.

That's my rambling done for today, dear reader. But shall we do some Dramatic Commentary? Yes, lets! I'll just get the whiskey and I'll be right with you...

Until then!


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