Monday, 11 October 2010

If I Were A Telly Producer...

I was thinking today, as you do, "What if I was a TV producer? What kind of stuff would I do?" Yeah, it's been that kind of day.

But it certainly got me thinking. Current comedy, in England anyway, is pretty decent, with the odd thing that's just not funny (Lee Nelson... the first three I saw were funny. The rest... Well, there's only so far you can push chaviness). So yeah, I'd likely not do comedy. Why bother anyway? We've got the Inbetweeners! That everyone keeps raving about. Incessantly. I can only conclude it's reached the height of it's popularity and will now slowly wither and die. There's only so much sexual innuendo, and so many words for 'vagina' in the world. I like it, true, but the number of people raving about it has just got silly. Now, Drama is rather a niche thing, and there's FAR too many on the telly at the mo. While not really a 'drama' per sé, I'd likely resurrect Ashes to Ashes/Life on Mars. Maybe in the present day, with the main character being from the future. Gene Hunt being forced to use modern policing methods is a pretty funny image.

Or I could make a soap! I'd call it 'The Wonderful End of the World', and focus on a street in Milten Keynes. With all the drunken brawling, slags, drugs, RnB, and incessant teenage sex that entails. And teenage pregnancy. And STD's. And DIY abortions. Maybe I'd throw in the odd serial killer, and have part of each episode set in a prison where a child molester from the street is being held. Then we can observe the mental degeneration of each generation of the families living there. Yes, I've been to Milten Keynes. Yes, it's horrible. Yes, I'm prejudiced against the place. I'm sure some areas of it are very nice. I just didn't notice them.

How about sport? Knowing me, I'd almost certainly find some loophole that'd let me create a Running Man-style TV show. Maybe even called The Running Man. I can't see how that could possible fail to be popular... But what's wrong with documentaries? Well, actually nothing, asides from some are very dry affairs. The stuff on the war on Iraq at the moment is good though, but for the life of me I can't remember the name of the series. It's rather a niche thing though, and I'd like to do something that's not been done before. And, to be honest, I think EVERYTHING'S been done.

With all that said, it's probably for the best that I'm not a producer. I would make silly programs for a serious world. Or would that be a good thing?

Until next time!

PS. News just in: d'you know what the last words spoken on the Challenger before it's break up were? "Uh-oh", spoken by the pilot, Michael J. Smith.


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