DC: StarKis Prophecy Chapt. 1 & 2

I've just 'read' (if you can call it that) this intrepid tale of.... Actually, I'm not sure what. It just seems to be a load of words, letters, and numbers jumbled together in a rather mish-mash manner. This was brought to my attention by a kindly reader, SharpFang. I'd like to encourage more of that, dear reader.


It's a Warrior Cats fanfiction, and it's worth saying at this point that I know nothing about the canon. Thus, I am armed with the wiki, TV Tropes, and far too much time on my hands. It's possibly a trollfic, but no-one really seems to know for sure. If it isn't, it's really quite scary. Would you like to read the summary, dear reader?

"Im repotsing this becus it got deletd. Its about starKit shes gong to save the frost from the evil holLy and tigger."

That is what we're dealing with, dear reader. Right, let's get cracking!

['Chapter' 1. You'll see the reason for those sarcasm marks in a minute.]

ok so im finaly uploding this agan [it's like a drunk Tara]!1!1! the men peopls [evil men peopls] at fanfictnet delted my stroy :(((((( [SADFACE, apparently. Or possibly it's got many chins] but its bak now [no shit, Sherlock. Incidentally, I watched the recent modern adaptation of Sherlock Holmes (entitled, simply, Sherlock) last night. I highly enjoyed it and I encourage you to give it a watch, dear reader, especially if you like Sherlock Holmes]. i had al the chpaters savd and now im justs repoting them [someone's definitely had too much to drink]. theit is a new chpaeter its at the end its calld shrekieng. [No it isn't. Seriously, there's not a chapter anywhere in this tale called anything even remotely like that.]

but heres the rets of the stoyr.

ok so like i said this iks my first story be nice plz [You're far too late.]

btw its set afte rsunset so [So it's after the sixth volume in the second series. It might have been a good idea to state when this takes place in the summary. Like a normal person.]

ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt [So he's two colours at once? Even though they're very similar colours. But... Yeah.]

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Foxpaw

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-ca

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace [I was very nearly going to write a snarky comment there, but it turns out the Horseplace exists in canon.]

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw [Obviously not important enough to have a gender or colour.]

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

Hollyleaf - black she-cat

FoxHeart-reddish tabby tom

IceFire-white she cat

ToadRibbit-black—and-white tom

RoseFlame-dark cream she cat

BriarStorm-dark brown she cat

BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stipes

BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwth a dark stripe along her spine

Apprentices:

Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace [Capital letter for the name of a place. Did they teach you nothing in school?]

FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one grnee [Ollie, my dog, once made a noise like that] eye one blue eye

LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes

The last 2 r starKits siters [Really. How utterly engrossing.]

JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail [Red, or ginger? Because I've never seen a red cat.]

Queens:

Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits

Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's mother of Jayfeathers' ktis [what], formaly of Shadowclan

Kits:

StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forhaed [This one's the Sue. You probably guessed that by now. Every badfic must have one.]

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0 [Nothing about that in the wiki, so I'm going to assume the writer's making it up. Naughty writer.]

LeafPool-brown tabby she cat

ShadowClan

Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws

Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom

Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom) [Whoah now, why has the format suddenly changed?]

Warriors:

Oakfur - small brown tom [It's changed back now.]

Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom) [Maybe not.]

Rowanclaw - ginger tom [This is getting ridiculous.]

Smokefoot - black tom

Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom) [The horror.]

Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat

Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)

Toadfoot - dark brown tom

Crowfrost - black-and-white tom

Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)

Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles

Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back

Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)

Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail

Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)

Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye

Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)

Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's

Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's [what does the claw own?] and amber eys

DawnFeather-cream tabby she cat (shes a different cant then the one in tC ok?) [Ok. She's a different cant. What's a 'cant'?]

OlivePaw-bright brown she cat

Queens:

Snowbird - pure white she-cat

Elders:

Cedarheart - dark gray tom

Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat

WindClan

Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom

Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom

Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)

Warriors:

Tornear - tabby tom

Crowfeather - dark gray tom

Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom

Whitetail - small white she-cat

Nightcloud - black she-cat

Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes

Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws

Harespring - brown-and-white tom

Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes

Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)

Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat

Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)

Willowclaw - gray she-cat

Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear

Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws

Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)

Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes

Elders:

Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen

Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom

RiverClan

Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat

Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat [She's solid gold. Bless.]

Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)

Warriors:

Blackclaw - smoky-black tom

Voletooth - small brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Reedwhisker - black tom

Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes

Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)

Beechfur - light brown tom

Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Graymist - pale gray tabby

Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat

Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat

Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom

Mintfur - light gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Otterheart - dark brown she-cat

Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)

Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)

Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom

Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat)

Queens:

Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit

Elders:

Heavystep - thickset tabby tom

Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat

Stonestream - gray tom

[Hardly any of these characters are going to appear, are they? Y'know, I'd have much preferred them to be introduced in the actual story, rather than lumped and grouped in the first 'chapter'. And now for 'Chapter' 2. If one could call it a chapter.]

The cats gathered around a pool [mmm, detail...]. They all looked into it eagerly [more detail]. A dark shape appeared on the surface [yet more detail. If you can not feel my sarcasm, I pity you]. A blue she cat looked up [I've never seen a blue cat. I'm not sure they exist unless you actually paint a poor kitty blue]. Her eyes were bright. [Like.... Stars! I see what I did there.]

"There is a prophecy [prophecies are a dime a dozen in fanfic land. I do wish they'd come up with some different plots. Of course, prophecies seem to play a large part in the Warrior Cats canon too, so make of that what you will.]!" She said. "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." [ORLY?]

"Its about StarKit [obviously]!" A white tom said [he's obviously not important enough to have a name]. "Shes going to save the forest [really. You do intrigue me]," He looked at a gold tom by BlueStar. "she has powers nobody dreamed of [oh bloody hell. Maybe she can shoot lightning from her eyes and her meow can make grown men bleed]." Said the gold tom. "Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said BlueStar. "he needs to know." [Yes, it might be an idea.]

She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy. [As if we couldn't gather.]

did u like it? plz tell me in urm review! [Oh sod off.]

Well, this is... Yeah. Isn't it? Oh dear...

Until next time!

Teddy