DC: Hitman: The Hitting Chapt. 6

It's the last chapter, dear reader! I can do this. We can do this. Let's do this.


AN I am really trying to be serious when I write this [Ha. Hahahahaha. Ha.]. Please let me know how I am doing and if the store is good [it depends on the store. Ann Summers is a good store for example and I am not typing this out loud and you saw nothing]. I am going to trying to meet it interesting by using a directory. [C:\Program Files\Badfic.]

Adjacent 47 got back to Las Vegas and sat in his apartment after banking his money [I like to think he was paid in cash and dropped the massive wad of money in front of the cashier]. He was very unhappy because Pinochet was a clone and he was supposed the be the only clone hetman in the world [no, he's not supposed to be the only clone 18th Century Polish Commander in the world]. He was also looked like Franchise clone, so he was a bad guy. [Because the Franchise are evil. Keep up.]
When Diana messaged him on his secret computer [it's called that because it's a secret. Even from him, which makes one wonder how he knows when he has messages] startled telling her about how everything went wrong, so she said. "Whatever 47. This guy sounds stupid, so we can just send out other agnates [o.0] to kill him. We still have a new mission for you." [Still? The mystery of the eternal new mission will indeed never be fathomed.]
Then 47 was in Pairs [I wish I could get around like that] and he started complaining to Diana on the phone. "Diana I hate Paris! Every time I go there they shoot me!" [Let's be fair, he was only there once.]
"They probably won't this time 47 [probably]." Diana said. "Anyway we need you go to Nail Instance company HQ and kill their boss Lewis Nail [I see what he did there]. You our only agent who can do this." [Probably because he's their only agent left. Yes, my memory is that long.]
"But you're already in France!"" [She's sort of not an agent.]
"Shut up 47. I moved somewhere secret." Then Diana hung up. [Diana's turned into a bit of a mean-spirited cow.]
47 put on a football helmet so people wouldn't recognize him [what]. Then he walked away from downtown to factories, where the Nail building was. [While wearing a sharp suit and a football helmet. This is apparently inconspicuous. Then again, they are French.]
In their lobby there were lots of people who wanted jobs because their movies were too normal to make money [there's no money in normal films. Actually, that's fairly accurate]. There was also en elevator to the next floor, but it was guarded.
47 went outside with a guy who was not hired [OK...] and took out a coin. He threw it at the guy and said "create a demonstration and you can have this." [o.0]
"OK [the people in this fic are rather moronic, wouldn't you say, dear reader?]" So the guy took out paints [yes, I read that as 'pants'. Yes, that would have been a silly, if effective, distraction] and began drawing fallacies on the wall [I'm not sure how one can draw a fallacy. I'm not sure you can]. A security guard then came [I see that there is still something in the water in fanfic land], and said he was being bad. [Naughty non-hired person! No cookies for you!]
"This is naughty, but it is not art! It sucks! You must talk to a critic, or you will be locked up [I like to think that's a real law in France, which would automatically make France amazing]!" He ten pointed at Mr. 47. "This weirdo is probably a critic, because he needs helmets to protect from flown bricks [what]. Talk to him!."
47 saw he was getting nowhere, so he had butted and punched both of the people until they were knocked oust [no, I'm not making a joke about Oust. Their lawyers would kill me]. Then he dragged them into a puddle so it loud look like they had an accident and died [death by puddle. It's not as common as you might think, because it's so fucking ridiculous]. Then he took the guards gun pecans it was like the Puncher from Resident Evil and he didn't have on of those. [What is this I don't even.]
It is time for plan 2 said 47, and he through a minor bomb into a window [not a big bomb, only a minor one]. Then he pressed the button to blow it up and while everyone was running around scared he ran into the building again and took the elevator. [I wonder why he can't teleport any mire? I mean, he got to France almost instantly.]
On the next floor, 47 ran past the guards, who started saying things in French that meant 47 was not supposed to be there, but 47 soon distempered [yes] so they forgot about him.
Mr. 47 ran into the office that said it was Mr. Nail's office [a talking office. That has to be a first], but then noticed that Mr. Nail had already died because 47 had thrown the bomb into his office [silly 47]. 47 locked the door so that guards would not find Nail's body and he would still do a silent assassinating.
47 started looking at the files in Nail's exploded safe because he was bored, but then he found something that meant really bad things [I have no idea what just happened, but I know something exploded]. So he took the files and jumped down to the ground shooting his shotgun down so he wouldn't fall as fast. [Don't try that at home. Because you'll probably blow your legs off and spend a very painful time bleeding to death on the floor.]
Then he called Diana and said "Diana! People are malign conspiracies again and we need to stop them!" [Oh NOES!]


There. The fic ends there. Perhaps 47 came to life and killed the writer? We may never know, dear reader. Irregardless, that's another DC completed. I hope you didn't enjoy the fail as much as I didn't enjoy the fail.

Until next time!
Teddy