[That sets the tone for this whole thing, actually.] Part 3 - The Morning After Albus Dumbledore watched his bond mate [oh for fuck's sake] sleeping fitfully in the bed beside him. The old man was feeling very tender towards the dear sweet child [this is not creepy at all. Nope. Not at all. No, I'm not shivering]. After all, he had been quite rough with Severus last night, nailing him six times all together. [Lovely.] Yes, the boy had a right to be tired. [Oh, just leave him in peace and go back to sleep.] Severus' long black hair fell over his pale face. He looked so much younger in sleep, oddly innocent [you know when I said this wasn't creepy? I lied]. His sharp features softened, moist lips parted, though he noted the bottom lip was slightly swollen and had a bit of blood on it. 'Have to fix that before we go out in public.' [I work with a service that councils the perpetrators and victims of domestic violence, so this is horrendous for me.] The boy looked so delicate, so vulnerable. 'All mine.' [Please stop being creepy.] The older man smiled looking at the still incongruous sight of a pair of breasts on the younger man peeking tantalizingly out of the quilt [oh no, here we go again]. He brushed an erect nipple with a finger. Snape, who still slept reacted instinctively. He flinched away from his touch. With a growl, the Headmaster cupped the breast in his hand, squeezed it hard. [*Pnarp* *pnarp*.] Black eyes snapped open. Severus gasped and pulled away, his face a mask of fear [once again, I know how he feels]. But as the sleep blurred eyes focused, everything that had happened last night came crashing down. He started to say something, but before either man could react, Snape's face visibly paled, he violently tossed away the jumbled quilts, and tumbled backwards out of the bed, hand over his mouth. He had to scramble clumsily almost on his knees to make it to the bathroom. [I know that feeling as well. Just not with a man.] Actually, having never been in the Headmaster's bedroom before, he was just grateful that the door he chose to stumble through actually was the bathroom and not a closet. He was sure that he would really catch hell if he had puked over the Headmaster's dress robes. [He should totally do it anyway.] After what seemed like an eternity spent in near convulsions in the worship of the great white porcelain god [*slow clap*], Severus fancied that he saw his gallbladder. Had he been wearing shoes, they would probably have been next. After a week of waking up with extreme morning sickness, it had already gotten old. [Like this fic.] However, vomiting up everything including dinner from last Christmas [that's an impressively broken digestive system he has there] suddenly seemed only a minor annoyance as a shadow fell over him. He braced himself against the cold porcelain, not sure what the old man would do. How he would react? Would he face the kindly eccentric Headmaster, or the violent rapist? [Oh, so much drama.] "Shhh. It is alright, Severus. You are safe. Safe with your bonded husband [you keep using that word]." Albus stroked his back gently, softly muttered soothing platitudes. It seemed that for the moment at least, the kindly eccentric Headmaster had returned. "You are safe, my Love. I am here." The old man continued to stroke him gently, which made Severus extremely uncomfortable. [Can't really say as I blame him. Mind you, it's nothing to how uncomfortable I feel.] "I am OK now, Albus." He stumbled up to his feet, while trying not to seem to push Dumbledore away. For his part, he was very grateful that the Headmaster had put on a bathrobe, even if it was a horrid blue based plaid that made him nauseous. [Yeah, plaid is the devil.] He quickly washed his mouth out in the sink, wanting to get rid of the taste of bile [and probably also semen. WE WERE ALL THINKING IT]. Then he splashed the cold water in his face. He needed to be awake and aware. This was a very dangerous situation. One wrong word and he was dead, perhaps literally. He leaned over the sink heavily to support himself. "Um, may I please use the floo to go down to my, uh, old rooms, get some fresh clothes?" He said meekly feeling very vulnerable naked [that's like being vulnerable and naked, but not quite] and bent over like that, though he was just too weak to do anything else. He wanted more then anything to run, to escape from this place, this man. But instead, he kept very still, his only hope not to anger the older wizard who insisted on touching him. He flinched slightly as a hand slid lightly up his thigh. [Not again.] "You are not quite up to going that far yet, my darling. Besides, there is no need, the house elves have already brought everything up here. I have added a room to my suite for your books and things. I have also taken the liberty of getting rid of most of your wardrobe." "You got rid of my clothes? But why?" Severus gulped feeling oddly bereft at the thought of losing his beloved wardrobe. He had worked for years to find those robes. To get ones that would swirl and flow just right. He was proud of his clothes. [I'm not even going to comment.] "Now, do not get me wrong Severus, you looked good in those old-fashioned suits you are so fond of, but they just have too many buttons." He took the younger man by the arms and helped him to stand. "Just a moment." He touched Severus gently on his split lip and whispered an incantation. The small cut healed itself instantly. "There, much better. Now my darling, why not take a shower and get yourself cleaned up, you will feel much better." "Yes, Headmaster." He whispered; his eyes lowered. "Please child, call me Albus, I am your husband [no, 'bonded husband'. As if it matters]." He stroked Severus' cheek. He was all gentleness and love [fantastic]. "Take a nice long hot shower, wash your hair; I have some vanilla shampoo [that genuinely sounds quite nice] that smells wonderful. When you are nice and squeaky clean I will have some fresh clothes all laid out for you." He had the old twinkle in his eyes. "Yes Albus." Severus said softly too confused and weak to argue. Besides, the old man was acting like his old kindly self; he decided it would not be prudent to push his luck. [Yeah. We all know what's coming.] To his relief Dumbledore actually left him alone. Severus sat on the closed toilet lid for some time, trying to stop trembling. Last night he had thought that Dumbledore was like Voldemort, but he had been wrong. He was much worse then Voldemort! At least Severus could usually predict the old snake's reactions. Dumbledore seemed to be completely unstable. Going from the gentle Headmaster Severus thought he knew to a raving violent sex starved lunatic with no warning! What the hell was happening? Was Dumbledore possessed? [I wish.] He finally stepped into the tub and turned on the shower. Eyeing the sappy looking yellow rubber duck in the corner dubiously he allowed the hot water to caress his tense body. 'There must be a way to escape!' He told himself closing his eyes and allowing the hot water to run over his face. 'But how? [Suicide.] Everyone loves, and respects Dumbledore. He is a hero, practically a saint. What am I? Nothing!' That fact had always been made very clear to him. 'I have never been anything but a turncoat that came in handy. Now the Wizongamot think that I am insane [they're not the only ones]. He did his job well. No one will ever believe me if I tell them what he is really doing to me.' He leaned heavily against the white tile wall to steady himself. 'I want to run, but where could I hide? Dumbledore still has my wand. Wand, hell, as my legal guardian he has taken control of my bank accounts [how many does he have? I bet he has an offshore one]. I have no money, no place to go, no one to turn too? I have no friends, and most of my old acquaintances are either dead or in Azkaban. Those that are not would kill me in a heart-beat as a traitor.' [What a pickle.] He jumped, almost slipped as the door opened with a rush of cold air. "Are you done, Severus?" The Headmaster called softly. "Almost." He pushed down the panic attack that threatened to overwhelm him. 'Think of the baby, Severus.' [Oh fuck, I'd almost forgot about the sodding child.] His hand touched his flat stomach. 'You are a Slytherin. Use your cunning. Submit for now. Adapt, and plan, you will escape.' Several minutes later he exited the bathroom. His hair was still damp, and hung in his face and well past his shoulders. He had not been able to cut it for almost two months. Severus felt extremely vulnerable. He was once again in the presence of the Headmaster. It frightened him that his only thing between them was a ridiculously fluffy red towel held tightly around his waist. "Ah, ah, my boy." Dumbledore smiled, already fully dressed in flowing burgundy robes, he pointed to the towel, his eyes still twinkling. "Never hide your body from me, Severus." The tone was almost playful. Almost. Head bowed, he slowly allowed the towel to drop, exposing his body completely. The old man walked over to him, running a hand along his flank possessively. "You are lovely, child. It is a pity that I will have so little time to really enjoy your body before our little one becomes too much of an obstacle." He patted his bond mate's [ :( ] still flat stomach affectionately, then turned around and lifted something from the bed. "Arms up." Severus lifted his arms. Dumbledore pulled a thick dark blue under robe over his head. It was dark midnight blue, almost black, and long enough to sweep the floor. "Now hold them out to your sides." Severus complied, feeling like a dress up doll. [This is all far too creepy. This is not how relationships work.] Next came an outer robe of black, with overlarge billowing sleeves, and a train in the back making it trail behind him almost two meters. The shoulders were stiff, padded in a style he always hated. The headmaster then tied a dark blue sash around his waist. Snape blushed realizing that the breasts Voldemort had forced on him were peaked, and holding out the top of the robes, he probably looked like a woman in a fancy ball gown! [That's probably the point.] 'Gods,' he thought bitterly looking down at his cleavage. 'They will get bigger closer to the birth!' [No shit, Sherlock. Actually, I have no idea how male pregnancy works.] "Here you go." The old man disturbed his depressed musing by handing him a pair of very soft looking dark blue slippers. Severus had to sit on the edge of the bed in order to be able to reach his feet to put them on. The robes were voluminous, but oddly confining. [I hope this is not supposed to be fetishistic.] With the soft slippers on his feet he stood. "Turn around. Let me look at you." It was said softly, not as an order, but Severus did so without hesitation. The sleeves did billow nicely as he turned. He would still be able to manage a credible swoop and stalk at least even if these clothes made him look a bit feminine. More then just a bit actually. "Can I… loosen the top a little? These," He blushed indicating the breasts, "are… embarrassing." "I like them." "But, the students…" "I like to be able to see them, Severus." Dumbledore cut him off, but after a moment thought better of it. "But you are right. Must not traumatize the children." [WHAT ABOUT ME? Oh, I forgot. I'm not a child, so I have to deal with the horrors of the world. Like this.] The wrinkled hands loosened the top, making the material bunch out, with the effect of making the breasts slightly less obvious - except for the fact that if he was cold - the nipples stood out, they were extremely visible from the sides. "Thank you, Albus." 'You know the drill, Severus,' he thought to himself, 'Be very grateful for anything he gives you.' "Um, Albus, uh, I am," He blushed, saying this was probably a mistake, but he had to try, after all, Dumbledore seemed in a good mood. "I, am used to wearing trousers, Albus. I feel a little, odd, with nothing underneath." He probably sounded whiney but at this point he really did not care. [That makes two of us. I need a drink.] The old wizard chuckled, then crooked his finger, the heavy robes rose slowly until Severus felt his privates exposed [oh my]. Dumbledore was on him, pulling him close, hands cupping his buttocks. "I want to be able to get to you easily." He moved back and with a snap of his fingers allowed the robes to fall back into place. "Besides, in a very few weeks your lovely belly will start to swell. Those suits of yours would be much too tight and uncomfortable." [At this stage, I just feel like passing out.] "Yes Albus." He said submissively. "Better." He looked at the younger man with an oddly gentle smile. For a moment the two men just stood, until finally Severus took a deep breath. "Why did you do this to me, Albus?" He did not care if he was slapped down the next second. He had to try to understand. "Do what, my love?" His smile was all affection. "Fuck me, knock me up, and marry me?" [For the evlulz, clearly. And so that the writer can angst massively.] The blue eyes watched him thoughtfully, and then Albus nodded. "I will tell you why, Severus. I suppose that you do deserve that much." The old man sat on the bed, Severus remained standing since there was no other place in the room to sit [what about the floor?] and he would not get that close to Dumbledore unless ordered him to do so. "I have done this to you because it is my due." That earned the older wizard a blank stare. "Consider, Severus, that for over one hundred years I have been forced to push aside my own needs and desires for the good of our world. Most of those years were spent alone, celibate with only my right hand for company [oh, fantastic]. I have fought and bled for the side of Light. I have earned this through years of denial and sacrifice, years of celibacy and deprivation. Yes, my sexy little snake, I earned you." [Yup, that's definitely how it works. He's completely insane.] "You are saying that you consider me your reward for services rendered to the Wizarding World? Most people would be satisfied with a gold watch." [Dumbledore prefers 'bitchez'.] "Not after one hundred years." Dumbledore reached out and groped him. "I think one sexy young man [he's not... completely a man. Still, at least he's not a 'child' now] to share my bed is a small price to pay for my years of selfless devotion." "What about my needs, my desires, my life?" Severus growled as he jerked himself out of Dumbledore's reach. Part of him screamed at himself to shut the fuck up and not provoke the man [yup, he's just going to bring it on himself], but perhaps it was the unfamiliar hormones that coursed through his body, perhaps it was just anger and confusion demanding a voice, but Severus held his head high, he would not back down. "Your needs, your desires, your life?" The old man chuckled as if Severus had just told an amusing joke. "My pet, all of those things were forfeit the moment you bared your arm and sweet little arse to Voldemort [I'm fairly sure not at the same time]." The Headmaster informed him with an odd smile. "Oh yes, I took quite a number of pensives from you over the years while you were sleeping. I know all about your initiation into the Death Eaters. I saw what the two of you did behind closed doors." Severus gapped at him. "You stole my memories?" Gods, that was as much a rape as what had been done to him the day this all started! [No, that's not how rape works.] "Stole is an ugly word, my child. I needed to be sure that you were really turning from Voldemort. What you did was too important to leave your true allegiance to chance." "If you saw what he did then you know why I came to you in the first place." The pale man said glaring at Dumbledore. "He was psychotic! He wanted me to kill, to create poisons to help exterminate every muggle on the planet." [It's good to have a dream.] "And what he made you do on your back was not an issue?" "Why should it have been? He was hardly the first." His voice remained calm, but the black haired wizard was shaking. "True. I remember watching you take it in both ends at once." The old man chuckled. "I cannot wait until after the baby is born, and I do not have to be so gentle with you. Then we can really play." [Oh boy...] "Play? You call what was done to me playing?" Suddenly he looked at the old man with cold fury. "Both ends? The Dark Lord never forced me to do that with the Death Eaters until he made me a hermaphrodite." "My foray into your memories went back a bit further. I saw a lot of things. Even watched you lose your virginity. Of course, I knew about that beforehand, but it was interesting to actually be able to be there." "You knew? But you refused to listen, said that it was a lie?" "Of course I did. But there is little that goes on in this school that I do not know about." Severus felt light-headed, dizzy. "You knew that I told the truth about Black, Potter and Pettigrew and you did nothing!" "Come now, Severus, be practical. Black and Potter were from two of the oldest, most influential families in our world. Your family was poor, unimportant. You could hardly expect me to expel a pair of popular Gryffindors because of a little high spirits." Said the Headmaster with a shrug. "High spirits? They put me in a full body bind, dragged me into the prefects' bathroom and, and…" [I do find this strange alternate universe most odd, in that everyone wants to rape Snape.] "Shh, Severus please, it is not good for you to become overly emotional in your condition." Dumbledore said soothingly. [Har har.] "You knew! I was thirteen years old and you let them do that to me!" He stumbled back and slumped against the wall. "You are the Headmaster; you are supposed to protect the students in your charge! All of them!" "Well, yes, I suppose that is technically true, but this was a special case." "A special case? They gang raped me and you protected them!" "Severus, you are a Slytherin, you understand expediency. Sometimes we must make sacrifices for the greater good." The old man seemed to think he was being perfectly reasonable. "But why must I always be the sacrifice!" [Here comes the angst.] Severus slowly slid down the wall to sit on the floor with his legs drawn up to his chest. "You knew all of it. Every disgusting thing they did to me whenever your Golden Gryffindors caught me alone. Did you know about the rest too? You knew that the other Slytherins were abusing me." It was not a question. [We noticed.] The old man shrugged. "And what was I supposed to do? You submitted to the Slytherins of your own free will." "And what else was I supposed to do? I could not tell anyone, they would have killed me. Besides, you and the other Professors had already made it clear that I was worthless." Tears were running down his pale cheeks. He looked at the other man with haunted eyes. "So tell me truthfully, Albus, did you just try not to think about what was being done to me in order to save your tender Pureblood sensibilities, or did you watch them fuck me and jerk off?" [So. Much. Angst.] "Now, Severus, it was not all that bad. Water under the bridge." The old man stood and walked over to him. "Besides, I certainly could not expel Malfoy or any of the others from prominent families." "With all this Pureblood appreciation you have, why were you even fighting against the Dark Lord?" He asked bitterly. "You sound just like one of his sycophants." "Severus, we both know that Voldemort was insane, a danger to everyone around him [much like Dumbledore. HMMMMM]. However, I do understand the importance of the Pureblood hierarchy to our world. Without them, who would teach the muggle born wizards about magic? The problem is that our population has always been so small. For anyone to advocate Voldemort's insane logic of killing all muggles and breeding with only other Purebloods would mean genetic suicide in a few generations. Besides, some of the most powerful wizards and witches around are muggle born. Look at Miss Granger, Harry's friend. She is more powerful and more intelligent then any Pureblood in the school." "You save muggle born children, fight for their rights, but you would make me your unwilling sex slave? Do you not see anything wrong with that?" "Severus, my boy, just because some my sexual tastes might be considered a bit ["a bit"] beyond the norm, does not mean that I cannot stand up against something that is evil and dangerous." The younger man began to laugh bitterly. "This is perfect! You are a hero, and a deviant!" His laughter quickly turned to broken sobs. Dumbledore he reached down and lifted Severus gently off the floor. He held him close, stroking his hair till he stopped struggling and his shaking eased. "Severus, look at me, my Little one. Things happened to you when you were a child. Very bad things, that neither of us can change. What matters is what will happen now." The blue eyes were twinkling. "It does not have to be so bad, belonging to me. You believe you will lose your freedom? But you cannot lose something that you never possessed. Child, when have you ever known freedom? You have always been a slave. Passed from an emotionally abusive controlling father [oh, here comes the abusive family], to Malfoy and his cronies, to Voldemort, and yes, to me. Severus, you have no experience in living out in the world or making decisions for yourself. You have lived in the dungeons of this castle for two thirds of your life. You would not have a clue as to what to do away from this place." "It is not right." Severus choked. "Nor is it fair. But that is life." Albus Dumbledore tilted the younger man's chin up. "You are mine, Severus, nothing can change that. But you can be happy." The old man stroked his cheek gently. "I spoke to the mediwitch who looked after you for the Wizongamot. She said that all you would do from the moment you found out you were pregnant was ask her questions about what you needed to do for the baby to be healthy, how to care for him once he is born. You want this child very much." "Yes." [WHY?] "You would not be allowed to raise him alone, you know that." The voice remained calm, reasonable. The black eyes lowered. "You know that I am right." The old man felt a reluctant nod. "Here at Hogwarts with me our son will be safe and loved, Severus, as will you." "Loved?" Severus tried to pull away. "You do not love me! I am less then nothing, remember? Just a place to deposit your sperm. Why not just rape me again? You are stronger then I am, and I am your property. No one will care how badly you hurt me." "I am so very sorry, Severus. I said some very hurtful things last night. It is hard to be reasonable when you are as painfully aroused as I was [most of us manage OK]. And yes, your defiance made me angry." "My defiance made you hurt me." His voice was flat. "Yes Severus. If you would only have obeyed…" Dumbledore pulled him closer. "I do love you, Severus. I want us to be a family, you and I, our child. Yes, our child, and the other children we will have together." "How can you say that, all you want is to use me!" He was crying again. "You believe that sex is all I want? Sex is part of it Severus, that cannot be denied. But is it so strange to you that someone would want you for more then sex? That someone would care about how you feel? That anyone could desire you as more then just a hole to put his cock in? Child, do you remember when I asked you why you joined Voldemort? What you told me?" The voice was small. "No one else wanted me." [Oh, the angst.] "I do. I want you, all of you, your body, your heart. Perhaps my way of showing it was wrong. I should not have forced you, but I could not restrain myself! The sight of you makes me burn with desire. I remember watching you last night, the look in your eyes. You could not believe that your body could feel the way I made you feel. You have had sex with many men, yet not one has ever truly pleasured you, have they, Severus?" Eyes closed, Severus shook his head no. "I want to see that look in your eyes again. I want to make you cry out with pleasure, Severus. I want you to crave my touch." The Headmaster lifted his chin again. "Look at me, my Little One." The dark eyes opened, frightened, shy, hopeful? "Let me take care of you Severus. Let me touch you; love you as you have never been loved, as you deserve to be loved." Before he could answer Dumbledore claimed his lips. At first Severus did not quite return the kiss, but did not pull away. Very slowly, he yielded, opened to the older wizard's gently probing tongue. His body soon began to relax into the embrace. The Headmaster felt it too. The tense body mold itself to his. He ran his hands along his prize's back. 'My Sweet, we will explore sensations you have never known. I will teach you the sweet pleasures of pain. The joy of submission.' [I can't picture this without hurting my mind.] Oh yes, it would take time, and care. But it was a thing worth doing. Start out simple, reward obedience with pleasure and praise. Severus had always desired the Headmaster's approval. That could be used against him. And, more importantly, Dumbledore would swiftly and harshly punish any show of spirit, of self-reliance. Albus Dumbledore's mind returned bitterly to the long years of deprivation he had endured. Being forced to take polyjuice, sneak out to the lowest, darkest parts of Knockturn Alley [basically Soho, then] for sexual satisfaction. Seeking out those places where they did not question, nor care what you did as long as you had enough galleons. He would never have to do that again. [Unless he wants to sleep with an actual woman.] His mind went over the itinerary for the day. There was the morning staff meeting, the announcement of their Bonding to the students, and of course, the interview with the Daily Prophet reporter; so much that he and Severus would need to do, together. [I can't wait.] His thoughts strayed to the sturdy willow branch he had secreted in his sleeve. With all of this happening surely Severus would make some mistake that Dumbledore could use as an excuse to punish him. Oh yes, the thought of that porcelain pale skin bared, the crack of the thin springy wood leaving bright red welts on creamy thighs. Those lovely black eyes wet with tears, looking at him with fear from beneath sweat matted hair… He was getting hard just thinking about it. [Ugh.]
I just want a drink.
Until next time!